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September 26, 2008
Posted: 02:05 PM ET
By Karen Bonsignore If it’s Tuesday it must be chemo! There are seven chairs in my oncologist’s treatment room and most of the time they’re all filled. There’s an instant camaraderie between patients as we’re all battling the same beast. We mostly know each other by our first names and the kind of cancer we have. “Hi I’m Karen. I had ovarian cancer. What are you being treated for?” Lung, colon, and liver cancers dot the room on any given day but breast cancer seems to always dominate.
For me, each treatment has been filled with an assortment of side effects ranging from nausea and neuropathy to extreme fatigue. When I completed my third treatment, out of a total of six, my personal cheerleaders reminded me, “You’re halfway there!” or “It’s downhill from here!” While I acknowledged their encouragement, I could only think to myself that I wanted to quit after round two. How the heck am I going to make it through three more? At this writing I’ve just completed my last treatment. After four months of chemo I am finally done.
One of my doctors told me that it’s not uncommon for people who have completed chemotherapy to become depressed. While going through treatment it feels like we’re taking an active step to kill whatever cancer cells remain. When it’s done, all you can do is wait. I can’t go back to a time before my cancer was diagnosed, and so my life will never be the same again. The threat of recurrence is real and its presence has changed my life forever. While I’m wary of this phantom, worrying each day that I’ll be marked for another marathon dance is paralyzing. I now totally and completely understand that I have only the moment I’m in. Having cancer has taught me to be more compassionate, more patient with others and myself, and to live my life more fearlessly. It has allowed me time to be with myself and to truly embrace my feelings. It has given me a chance to say “thank you” hundreds of times. As I write I am filled with love and gratitude for all of the support given to me by my extraordinary family, friends and co-workers, for all of the wonderful doctors and nurses who have taken care of me, and for all the others who have simply cared enough to stop and ask how I was doing. I leave this place now with a brave and open heart, and with a little rest I’ll be ready again to deal with whatever comes next. Have you faced down a disease? What was the biggest thing it taught you? Editor’s Note: Medical news is a popular but sensitive subject rooted in science. We receive many comments on this blog each day; not all are posted. Our hope is that much will be learned from the sharing of useful information and personal experiences based on the medical and health topics of the blog. We encourage you to focus your comments on those medical and health topics and we appreciate your input. Thank you for your participation. Posted by: Karen Bonsignore - Executive Producer CNN Entertainment
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Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN's chief medical correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends -- info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love. Editor's Note
Medical news is a popular but sensitive subject rooted in science. We receive many comments on this blog each day; not all are posted. Our hope is that much will be learned from the sharing of useful information and personal experiences based on the medical and health topics of the blog. We encourage you to focus your comments on those medical and health topics and we appreciate your input. Thank you for your participation. @sanjayguptacnn: this is what i've been working on the past several days: http://tr.im/scjf - watch for more this week #cnn #truth
Updated: Mon, 13 Jul 2009 23:21:25 +0000 @sanjayguptacnn: http://twitpic.com/a8gl5 - there are some remarkably beautiful areas of haiti. ocean and mountains of port au prince. more this week.
Updated: Mon, 13 Jul 2009 16:29:20 +0000 @sanjayguptacnn: saw this in july's fortune magazine:
"don't eat anything that's not worth eating". think abt that b4 every meal. #1023
Updated: Mon, 13 Jul 2009 12:04:18 +0000 @sanjayguptacnn: http://twitpic.com/a4awr - on the road in haiti. half a mile of stairs. carrying the tripod to add more exercise #1023
Updated: Sun, 12 Jul 2009 14:02:24 +0000 @sanjayguptacnn: http://twitpic.com/a41ck - 5a.slums of port au prince. no water supply system here, these kids are it. 5 gallon tubs, over 40#, 10 times ...
Updated: Sun, 12 Jul 2009 11:13:04 +0000 Recent Posts
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