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September 12, 2008 Ovarian cancer: flipping my wigPosted: 01:06 PM ET
By Karen Bonsignore I dislike my wig. It’s not that it doesn’t look good on me; on the contrary, it looks very much like my own hair. It’s just that it’s NOT my hair and it’s a constant reminder that I’m bald. When I wear it I feel dishonest, as if I’m trying to deceive people into believing that I actually have hair. Those who know me know that it’s a wig, and those who don’t know me rarely take notice at all. Instead I prefer to wear scarves or hats, which clearly state “I had cancer. I’m being treated and I’m bald.” Everyone knows that hair loss is one of the main side effects of chemotherapy. It’s expected. One of the things doctors sometimes forget to tell their patients is that it hurts when your hair falls out. A friend of mine who is a breast cancer survivor compared it to the uncomfortable feeling you have when, after wearing your hair in a certain style for many years, you decide to part your hair a different way. It even hurts to sleep on it. Most all of the hair on your body falls out due to the drugs, even your nose hair. Who knew? What surprised me most about losing my hair was how emotional I was about it. About two weeks after my first chemo treatment my hair started to fall out. Strands came out on my pillow, on my towel after showering and in my hands. I decided that I didn’t want to watch it fall out each day so I made an appointment to have it cut about an inch and a half from my scalp. While I sat in the chair at the salon I was taken aback when my chest began to clench and then tears streamed down my face and I had absolutely no idea why. I wasn’t sad about cutting my hair. In fact I’ve had relatively short hair most of my adult life. I’ve even had it “spiked” when it was in fashion. No, it was as if at that moment I’d been smacked hard with the reality that I actually had cancer and now I was really “in it.” It wasn’t simply that my hair was falling out; it was the terrible truth that my hair was falling out as a result of having ovarian cancer. I didn’t feel sick before I went into the hospital to remove what my doctors thought were benign cysts and I didn’t feel sick that day. I think that’s what made accepting cancer all the more difficult for me. There was no question now that I had it, they had “gotten it all,” and I was darn lucky. Before my second treatment three weeks later I’d cut my hair twice more: first to a #1 buzz cut, and then my son shaved my head bald. By that time I was resigned to the fact that this was part of the cancer package. There was no more denial. I wanted to live and I had no choice but to walk through it until I came out the other side. Editor's Note: Medical news is a popular but sensitive subject rooted in science. We receive many comments on this blog each day; not all are posted. Our hope is that much will be learned from the sharing of useful information and personal experiences based on the medical and health topics of the blog. We encourage you to focus your comments on those medical and health topics and we appreciate your input. Thank you for your participation. Posted by: Karen Bonsignore - Executive Producer CNN Entertainment
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Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN's chief medical correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends -- info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love. Editor's Note
Medical news is a popular but sensitive subject rooted in science. We receive many comments on this blog each day; not all are posted. Our hope is that much will be learned from the sharing of useful information and personal experiences based on the medical and health topics of the blog. We encourage you to focus your comments on those medical and health topics and we appreciate your input. Thank you for your participation. @sanjayguptacnn: big day for health care. biggest I have seen in my lifetime. vote at 1a. I will be co anchoring 10p - 2a on @cnn. will cover it all.
Updated: Sun, 20 Dec 2009 21:50:32 +0000 @sanjayguptacnn: http://twitpic.com/tylm4 - was such an honor to have the queen of morning tv come to my book party. joan lunden -- looks great!
Updated: Fri, 18 Dec 2009 02:22:32 +0000 @sanjayguptacnn: http://twitpic.com/tylja - spent the evening with @kingsthings and @deepakchopra. fascinating chat!
Updated: Fri, 18 Dec 2009 02:22:08 +0000 Recent Posts
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