Comments on: Fertility questions differ with decades http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2008/06/06/fertility-questions-differ-with-decades/ Mon, 21 Dec 2009 21:13:33 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Lisa http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2008/06/06/fertility-questions-differ-with-decades/#comment-2983 Lisa Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:23:03 +0000 http://cnnpagingdrgupta.wordpress.com/?p=51#comment-2983 I am a little late in posting but why is there no mention of men infertility? I have a 13 month old that was conceived at Shady Grove through IVF because of a genetic issue with my husband. There is nothing wrong with "me" and my body but yet endure all the shots etc. This is a very big misconception for those who have not done their homework that up to 30 - 40% of issues are due to male factor alone. We were lucky to have it work the first time for us and are currently going through round #2 and it will hopefully have the same effect. This article still puts it on the "woman" as having all the issues when that simply isn't true. I am a little late in posting but why is there no mention of men infertility? I have a 13 month old that was conceived at Shady Grove through IVF because of a genetic issue with my husband. There is nothing wrong with "me" and my body but yet endure all the shots etc. This is a very big misconception for those who have not done their homework that up to 30 – 40% of issues are due to male factor alone. We were lucky to have it work the first time for us and are currently going through round #2 and it will hopefully have the same effect. This article still puts it on the "woman" as having all the issues when that simply isn't true.

]]> By: lilian http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2008/06/06/fertility-questions-differ-with-decades/#comment-1876 lilian Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:27:24 +0000 http://cnnpagingdrgupta.wordpress.com/?p=51#comment-1876 This are great article,I was scared when somebody told me that I can never get pregnant again, due to the fact that I have had abortions in the past. I am now in my mid 30's and I have been trying now for some year and nothing seem to be happening although my period are not regular, compared to when I was in my 20's,and I have never had problem conceiving. I do have a 15 year old son though, please advice on what to do.Thanks. This are great article,I was scared when somebody told me that I can never get pregnant again, due to the fact that I have had abortions in the past. I am now in my mid 30's and I have been trying now for some year and nothing seem to be happening although my period are not regular, compared to when I was in my 20's,and I have never had problem conceiving. I do have a 15 year old son though, please advice on what to do.Thanks.

]]> By: MG http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2008/06/06/fertility-questions-differ-with-decades/#comment-1723 MG Thu, 12 Jun 2008 01:50:12 +0000 http://cnnpagingdrgupta.wordpress.com/?p=51#comment-1723 Unfortunately, we are one of the unlucky couples. We are entering cycle # 25 of trying and we fall into the dreadful "unexplained" category. I'd like to see more stories focus on the fact that infertility causes stress rather than stress causes infertility. The last thing we need after having gone through 7 iui's, a missed miscarriage and now IVF is to hear "just relax, let go of the stress, or stop trying so hard." And this article is correct when it mentions that it's naturally harder to conceive as a woman ages, however, the common misconception people have is that you turn 30 and poof, you can't have a baby. That's inaccurate, it's a gradual process and I educate people every single chance I get. Unfortunately, we are one of the unlucky couples. We are entering cycle # 25 of trying and we fall into the dreadful "unexplained" category. I'd like to see more stories focus on the fact that infertility causes stress rather than stress causes infertility. The last thing we need after having gone through 7 iui's, a missed miscarriage and now IVF is to hear "just relax, let go of the stress, or stop trying so hard." And this article is correct when it mentions that it's naturally harder to conceive as a woman ages, however, the common misconception people have is that you turn 30 and poof, you can't have a baby. That's inaccurate, it's a gradual process and I educate people every single chance I get.

]]> By: Angela http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2008/06/06/fertility-questions-differ-with-decades/#comment-1721 Angela Wed, 11 Jun 2008 22:18:22 +0000 http://cnnpagingdrgupta.wordpress.com/?p=51#comment-1721 I am 39 and found this article interesting. In my own life, all of my friends dealing with infertility dealt with it in their 20's. All of my friends who waited until their 30's conceived within a year of trying. As far as men being the only ones who want to wait...there are more than a few COUPLES in my circle who have chosen not to have children at all or have chosen together to wait until their late 30's. My fiance and I have chosen the childfree life even though we know thru testing that we are both fertile. We want to enjoy early retirement and the freedom to travel and move up the corporate ladder -moving cities if need be. I have a truly rewarding and full life without children of my own. We have church, travel, pets, family and friends and rewarding jobs, not to mention a very happy relationship. We enjoy working with young people through social and church activities.Our friends who have waited or decided no have pretty much the same attitude that we have. Waiting is NOT a bad thing. Neither is not having children at all. I am 39 and found this article interesting. In my own life, all of my friends dealing with infertility dealt with it in their 20's. All of my friends who waited until their 30's conceived within a year of trying. As far as men being the only ones who want to wait...there are more than a few COUPLES in my circle who have chosen not to have children at all or have chosen together to wait until their late 30's.

My fiance and I have chosen the childfree life even though we know thru testing that we are both fertile. We want to enjoy early retirement and the freedom to travel and move up the corporate ladder -moving cities if need be. I have a truly rewarding and full life without children of my own. We have church, travel, pets, family and friends and rewarding jobs, not to mention a very happy relationship. We enjoy working with young people through social and church activities.Our friends who have waited or decided no have pretty much the same attitude that we have.

Waiting is NOT a bad thing. Neither is not having children at all.

]]> By: Milissa http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2008/06/06/fertility-questions-differ-with-decades/#comment-1718 Milissa Wed, 11 Jun 2008 20:29:27 +0000 http://cnnpagingdrgupta.wordpress.com/?p=51#comment-1718 My husband and I decided to wait to have children. We had decided we wanted a baby by the time we turned 30, and wouldn't you know it, two months of trying and we were expecting. I turned 30 just 16 days before our son was born. We now have a wonderful 2 1/2 year old. We are now ready for another miracle. It isn't as easy this time. 6 months of trying. We will be trying an ovulation kit this month...wish us luck!! My husband and I decided to wait to have children. We had decided we wanted a baby by the time we turned 30, and wouldn't you know it, two months of trying and we were expecting. I turned 30 just 16 days before our son was born. We now have a wonderful 2 1/2 year old. We are now ready for another miracle. It isn't as easy this time. 6 months of trying. We will be trying an ovulation kit this month...wish us luck!!

]]> By: GF http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2008/06/06/fertility-questions-differ-with-decades/#comment-1717 GF Wed, 11 Jun 2008 18:14:49 +0000 http://cnnpagingdrgupta.wordpress.com/?p=51#comment-1717 @ Anon of course you can have a "successful" career if you're working part time. But that's not really a career in the traditional sense of a person working full time and not leaving during the day to tend to their children. I'm referring to women who think they can work a high level full time position and raise young children at the same time. As a woman, I've observed other women try it without success. They've all quit to become full time moms because the pressure of their job was too great and there quite simply is not enough time in a day. Others who stayed hired nannies or daycare/after school facilities to babysit while they worked so they've in a sense they've chosen to be a part time mom. Women need to decide what is more important - becoming a mother or not. Women can always go back to school and build a career but there's no going back on the biological clock to have a baby. @ Anon of course you can have a "successful" career if you're working part time. But that's not really a career in the traditional sense of a person working full time and not leaving during the day to tend to their children. I'm referring to women who think they can work a high level full time position and raise young children at the same time. As a woman, I've observed other women try it without success. They've all quit to become full time moms because the pressure of their job was too great and there quite simply is not enough time in a day. Others who stayed hired nannies or daycare/after school facilities to babysit while they worked so they've in a sense they've chosen to be a part time mom.

Women need to decide what is more important – becoming a mother or not. Women can always go back to school and build a career but there's no going back on the biological clock to have a baby.

]]> By: Anon MD http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2008/06/06/fertility-questions-differ-with-decades/#comment-1711 Anon MD Wed, 11 Jun 2008 04:25:12 +0000 http://cnnpagingdrgupta.wordpress.com/?p=51#comment-1711 About "having it all"--the thing is, that women's life expectancies are now so long (~80 years) that there is definitely time to have a family and even a few careers, it's just hard to have a really high-powered career AT THE SAME TIME as raising small children. And yet: more than 50% of the med school and law school classes have been comprised of women for quite some years now, and all those educated women aren't forgoing having kids. The solution that many have found is to work part-time while the kids are young, and then scale up afterwards--for example most of my women doctor friends (now in their late 30s) have 2-3 kids (and generally had them during their 30s--right after medical training but before the infertility risk got really high), but most of them work part time and have done so ever since having their first. Granted none of them are super-high-powered academics (generating enough research to get published and tenured really is difficult to balance with finding a partner and raising kids) but part-time doctoring (for GF and Willa) is a perfectly satisfying and doable career with small children, and there are plenty of other careers for women that can be scaled up and down in the same way. As there are so many women in the workforce, I hope that more and more employers realize that in order to retain their valuable women employees, they need to structure jobs to be more family-friendly--the burden of elder care generally falls heaviest on women as well, so we are not just talking about having flex time to take care of the kids. One more point--I think we do a disservice to young women if we blithely tell them not to worry and they can have kids whenever they want, as some posters have done. If you were able to have kids in your 40's, good for you, we're all happy for you. No one is saying that women can't have their own healthy biological kids in their 40's--but the message needs to be that one can't count on being able to do it. If a young woman really wants to be reasonably sure to be able to have her own kids, she generally needs to try to set up her life to be able to start trying to get pregnant in her early 30's. Men need to understand this as well (about infertility risk). I agree (with several of the previous posters) that family and personal history are helpful additional datapoints in deciding one's individual risk for being able to conceive at any particular age. About "having it all"–the thing is, that women's life expectancies are now so long (~80 years) that there is definitely time to have a family and even a few careers, it's just hard to have a really high-powered career AT THE SAME TIME as raising small children. And yet: more than 50% of the med school and law school classes have been comprised of women for quite some years now, and all those educated women aren't forgoing having kids.

The solution that many have found is to work part-time while the kids are young, and then scale up afterwards–for example most of my women doctor friends (now in their late 30s) have 2-3 kids (and generally had them during their 30s–right after medical training but before the infertility risk got really high), but most of them work part time and have done so ever since having their first. Granted none of them are super-high-powered academics (generating enough research to get published and tenured really is difficult to balance with finding a partner and raising kids) but part-time doctoring (for GF and Willa) is a perfectly satisfying and doable career with small children, and there are plenty of other careers for women that can be scaled up and down in the same way.

As there are so many women in the workforce, I hope that more and more employers realize that in order to retain their valuable women employees, they need to structure jobs to be more family-friendly–the burden of elder care generally falls heaviest on women as well, so we are not just talking about having flex time to take care of the kids.

One more point–I think we do a disservice to young women if we blithely tell them not to worry and they can have kids whenever they want, as some posters have done. If you were able to have kids in your 40's, good for you, we're all happy for you. No one is saying that women can't have their own healthy biological kids in their 40's–but the message needs to be that one can't count on being able to do it. If a young woman really wants to be reasonably sure to be able to have her own kids, she generally needs to try to set up her life to be able to start trying to get pregnant in her early 30's. Men need to understand this as well (about infertility risk). I agree (with several of the previous posters) that family and personal history are helpful additional datapoints in deciding one's individual risk for being able to conceive at any particular age.

]]> By: GF http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2008/06/06/fertility-questions-differ-with-decades/#comment-1708 GF Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:15:41 +0000 http://cnnpagingdrgupta.wordpress.com/?p=51#comment-1708 At 36 years old and unmarried, I sure hope I have my mother's good genes and still be able to have a child at 40 (age she had me). I agree with CB that it's difficult to meet a man to even be in a committed relationship must less have a family with during my 20's and early 30's. I agree with Willa that having both a successful career and successful family is not possible because one or the other will be neglected. At 36 years old and unmarried, I sure hope I have my mother's good genes and still be able to have a child at 40 (age she had me). I agree with CB that it's difficult to meet a man to even be in a committed relationship must less have a family with during my 20's and early 30's. I agree with Willa that having both a successful career and successful family is not possible because one or the other will be neglected.

]]> By: Anonymous http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2008/06/06/fertility-questions-differ-with-decades/#comment-1702 Anonymous Tue, 10 Jun 2008 13:35:18 +0000 http://cnnpagingdrgupta.wordpress.com/?p=51#comment-1702 I, too, did not delay trying to get pregnant. My partner and I were trying to get pregnant while his youngest child was an infant. After sixteen years of every surgery, medication, infertility treatment and procedure, we finally conceived our twins via IVF. So giving birth at 43 was not what I had intended, but I couldn't be more happy with my eventual success. What really is so difficult for me to understand is that you have to have money to take advantage of the fertility treatments that are out there. We would love to have a second pregnancy, but the costs of every cycle are so prohibitive that it is not possible. Why don't more insurance carriers cover procedures that are so commonly used? I, too, did not delay trying to get pregnant. My partner and I were trying to get pregnant while his youngest child was an infant. After sixteen years of every surgery, medication, infertility treatment and procedure, we finally conceived our twins via IVF. So giving birth at 43 was not what I had intended, but I couldn't be more happy with my eventual success. What really is so difficult for me to understand is that you have to have money to take advantage of the fertility treatments that are out there. We would love to have a second pregnancy, but the costs of every cycle are so prohibitive that it is not possible. Why don't more insurance carriers cover procedures that are so commonly used?

]]> By: susanne http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2008/06/06/fertility-questions-differ-with-decades/#comment-1701 susanne Tue, 10 Jun 2008 13:29:04 +0000 http://cnnpagingdrgupta.wordpress.com/?p=51#comment-1701 It's important to know you're compatible with someone, as well as have the same goals in common - like having children, when to have them, financial goals, etc. It's very important that women don't rush into having children unless they are sure these things are in place. Aside from that, a woman, and a man, have to know they are ready, maturity-wise, to be a parent. Telling women to have children before age 30 in this day and age, when women are in school longer & want to work a few years before having children, isn't helpful & won't work for a lot of them. Everyone has to decide what the balance is for them. Being aware of statistics regarding fertility can be helpful, but I believe it should not be the deciding factor. It's important to know you're compatible with someone, as well as have the same goals in common – like having children, when to have them, financial goals, etc. It's very important that women don't rush into having children unless they are sure these things are in place. Aside from that, a woman, and a man, have to know they are ready, maturity-wise, to be a parent. Telling women to have children before age 30 in this day and age, when women are in school longer & want to work a few years before having children, isn't helpful & won't work for a lot of them. Everyone has to decide what the balance is for them. Being aware of statistics regarding fertility can be helpful, but I believe it should not be the deciding factor.

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