My wife is diagnosed as having DID. There are at least 40 named alters.It has been 14 years since diagnosis. I am looking for any partner that has been able to make this work long term.

Herschel Walker is very brave to discuss this publicly. He is performing a real service by educating us about DID.

Dear Dr. Gupta,

Mr. Walker’s willingness to come forward and discuss his condition is extraordinary. Most people dealing with this problem are hiding in the shadows of ignorance, denial, poverty and other mental illnesses. Therefore, it appears to take the exposure to highly qualified physicians, like Mr. Walker’s, in order to adequately diagnose and treat this illness. So what is a person to do who has family members with this illness without the benefit of access to Mr. Walker’s money to hire qualified physicians in order to survive the fallout of this condition? The bigger question that needs to be addressed here is that Mr. Walker bravely brought this medical problem to the light. However, to those who are walking around suffering from the devastating affects of having people in their lives with this level of mental health illness their is no light at the end of the tunnel. Let’s put on our thinking caps and purpose a more comprehensive and inclusive approach to making the diagnosis/treatment process
available to the poor like we do drugs for HIV and Rehab for Alcoholic and Drug Addicts. When this problem strikes the family of poor people, it often costs lives because it goes hand-in-hand with alcohol abuse, drug addiction, depression and other psychopathic disorders and ultimately turns unsuspected individuals into killers. We must come up with a comprehensive screening solution for the masses in order to save lives because this problem has reached epedemic proportions and we can no longer stand by the sidelines and accept the inevitability of scenarios like what happened at Virginia Tech.

I’m not sure if this is the place to ask questions, but while reading this blog and scanning the linked article for information I wonder:
1. why the different percentages reported (.5% in China and 1.5 % in Turkey and the Netherlands for instance). Is this based on self reported incidents of the disorder? Is it in part a measure of how much the medical establishment knows about this disorder?
2. There is a suggestion that often this disorder stems from trauma from the individual’s youth? My late father had episodes after multiple nervous breakdowns and suffering from depression for many years (decades) that resulted in what we at the time called “Yekyll and Hyde” behaviour. And he apparently would not always remember what he had done or said. But this started when he was in his seventies for as far as I know. Can the trauma occur later in life as well and lead to DID?
3. I’m assuming there would be a whole spectrum of DID? Personalities that are somewhat integrated all the way to personalities that fail to integrate. How bad and how subtle can the symptoms be? Or is too little known at this point to say anything definitive?

A curious reader

God bless Herschel Walker.

As someone who is married to a person with DID. I can tell you how tragic the Illness is. One of the worst aspects is that is almost exclusively a disorder brought on by continuous torture, usually of children. My SO was in and out of hospitals for ten years before they stabilized to they point they would not be a threat to themselves or others. While their “alts” have never been violent, it is downright scary. The “others” have trusted me enough to come out of occasion and talk to me. It is bizarre to have the vocal patterns of a five year old come out of grown adults body. And when they go into flashback it is frightening . It is like you are there when abuse happened.

I have DID and I have been receiving treatment for it for the past twenty years. It didn’t use to be called that and my Dr. did the best he could to help me deal with it. As a result I have huge holes and gaps in my memory. My husband is still amazed at what I can’t remember. I have five distict alters and many waiting in the wings, and yes, they have names. My poor family… I thought I was going crazy, but I still seemed to function in society, barely. I’m easy going and generally happy, I think… Right now I’m being treated for bipolar disorder and severe depression. The meds are working quite well and I have things under control, much better than in the past. I have been taking meds for twenty years.

This disorder really, really sucks. Yes, I was sexually abused as a child and not well liked by my peers because I had an opinion that wasn’t the norm. I grew up in Italy and then moved to a tiny town in Idaho. I never did fit in. My father ignored me and was ashamed of me and my mother is a type tripple A personality.

If you would like the records of the treatment I received I could try and get them for you. I attribute my still being here to Dr. Richard Southwick of Ogden, Utah. The Doc is good.

Kristen Clark-Black

My best friend has D.I.D. and while I wouldn’t wish the disorder on anyone, I think it may do some good to have a celebrity come forward about their struggles. There have been academic-type people in the past who have come forward, but they don’t always carry the same weight with the general public that someone who’s been in the public eye like Mr. Walker does.

I hope that out of all this, the one thing that people come away with is that D.I.D. does not make you criminally insane or even insane at all. There are a lot of people in this world with D.I.D. and many of them lead very productive lives. Yes, alters can disrupt your life, but working with them and with a qualified professional, one can learn to deal with it and learn how to get them all working together.

For the majority of the people in this world, Sally Field’s portrayal of “Sybil” is all they have as a reference point. And while Ms. Field did an excellent job in her portrayal, all people with D.I.D. are not like that. And I hope that if people take anything from this news, it’s that people with D.I.D. are just like the rest of us in this world and that they’re not “crazy” or “lunatics” or any of the other stereotypes that are out there right now.

Bravo to Mr. Walker for being brave enough to share his story with the world and I hope he continues to see progress in his treatment.

My husband was diagnosed 2 1/2 months ago and doesn’t know his diagnosis. It has been, without a doubt, the most exhausting, painful 4 yrs of my life. There is a wonderful support group on yahoo that is for spouses (there are some DID members as well) of people with DID. It is heartbreaking to know that severe childhood abuse suffered at the hands of my husband’s father caused this. His therapist is very hopeful and has been a godsend. For anyone interested the group is sosupport@yahoo.com.

I was diagnosed 6 years ago, and can say I’m as close to healthy as I will ever be. I am married and lead a very normal life. There is hope through therapy and some medication. I took 4 years off of my life and did nothing but work, go to therapy and work on my mental health. I had the most supportive people in the world in my life, who gained the trust of my alters and helped them resolve their issues. (I had 25 and now I have just 4 who I have no intention of integrating)

I survived 21 years of horrible abuse – and there are lasting effects. My husband is frightened by the flashbacks I still suffer from on occasion. The safer I feel in my environment, the better I feel.

For the spouses & family: I know it’s a huge emotional drain, but your husband/wife needs someone to help them. Maybe its not you personally, but you can get them to therapy, or if need be a hospital. This is not something you can tackle alone, speak to a therapist yourself. If you’re not well, you can’t help.

My grandmother has always been troubled but we were not aware of anything other than a nervous breakdown in her 40’s ( she is 79). In the last few years, we have noticed the fragmented personalities in her. My mother (her daughter) gets the aggressive, argumentitive personality. My sister sees the childlike more often, and I see the child sometimes, as well as the woman we knew growing up. She is not diagnosed DID and we are unsure how much of this due to her age and dwindling mental faculties or if it was there all along. We suspect the latter.

I have no education or knowledge of this disorder, but I can tell you that I mentally noted an interesting observation about Herschel Walker as a high school student (ran into him more than once at HS track meets). Anyone who is familiar with track meets knows that depending on your participation and competition level, there can be some down time to socialize with folks from other teams. During track meets, Hershel was not visibly social with runners from other schools. He always VERY focused (now I might say ‘abnormally’ so). I just contributed my observation to him not being an outgoing personality. I always thought of him as maybe shy and really focused. It is interesting to think back to some encounters. I also remember discussing with friends that he was a ‘machine’. The use of the word ‘machine’ then would have meant that he just did his job and performed perfectly each time. He was a great athlete to observe and from which to learn. I am so sorry that he has had these extraordinary challenges. God bless you, Herschel.

Hi
H .Walker is a brave man to discuss such a personal topic so
publicly. My question is what is the difference between DID
and schizophrenia?

Dear Dr. Gupta,
I am quite dismayed at this article. I have a diagnoses of DID and PTSD. I find some of the language you use and that of your anchor colleagues who describe people with this disorder as bizarre, strange or weird, offensive. I will grant you it is unusual but we are all unusual in some way. Also DID is a disorder and not classified as a mental illness.
I was diagnosed with this disorder 20 years ago when it was known as MPD. Changing the title and the acronym may make some people feel more comfortable but it does not change what it is.
My real objection to your piece is that there have been others willing to come forward and other books written on the subject but they were not written by ’stars’. May I suggest “Switching Time” by Dr. Richard Baer. It gives much more insight into the disorder without glorifying the violence.
That is the real heart of my objection. Almost without fail journalists such as you represent multiples as people who switch abruptly from one alter to the next. Cases in the ‘news’ are almost always shown as having very violent alters who commit very violent acts and then forget them. I find this very offensive. I have many more alters than you speak of and through therapy we have become a cohesive unit and recovered the memories of a very violent and torturous childhood. And still there is not one part of us who wishes to hurt anyone other than perhaps ourselves at a very early time in therapy.
Oh by the way, of all of the DID patients I have known or read about in 20 years in the therapeutic circle of life every one has names or designations of some sort for their alters. Why should that surprise you? How would we keep track of all of the alters or ‘fragments’ if they did not have names or designations of some sort?
Perhaps in the future before you present a story such as Mr. Walker’s you should do a little more research and find more than just a one sided story. There are those of us with DID who would share our stories but they would not be so glorified a story as Mr. Walker’s.
Oh by the way I have neither encountered or read of another DID case caused or even exacerbated by being bullied. DID is caused by SEVERE trauma early in life.
I am happy to see DID brought into the light but a little more balanced story would be nice. There are those with DID that are high functioning without the need to hurt others. Thanks for your time.

My wife suffers from DID. We have been married for 14 years and together for 17. She was diagnosed shortly after we started dating and we were both 19. We went through a lot of therapists and doctors.

Fortunately, we live in Baltimore which has two of the best psychiatric hospitals in the country, Sheppard Pratt and Johns Hopkins. Sheppard has one of the best trauma disorder units in the world. Hopkins, on the other hand, does not recognize DID as a diagnosis. Hopkins’ diagnosis is borderline personality disorder.

The key for me has been to separate my roles with her and maintain my role as husband. I am not her therapist. It’s vital to find therapists and doctors you trust and are professional. Because of the rarity of the diagnosis some therapists find it interesting and don’t really understand how to handle these patients. They treat them as a curiosity and can do more harm than good.

Even though I am near Sheppard, it was years before we were aware of their programs. Luckily, we had good insurance at the time and she was able to get in for a few weeks. However, shortly after that our benefits ran out and we were not able to return. She had to go to a state hospital. This is not a good place for trauma disorder patients. It’s not that they are bad. It’s just they are not equipped to handle these patients. So, as I’m sure most others can attest to it takes a lot of persistence and feather rustling. DO NOT be afraid to question doctors, therapists, or administrators.

Fortunately for us things have stabilized and we have insurance now. She has a great therapist who is used to working with DID and I have one too. For my benefit, we don’t talk about her or her DID. But, it’s important to talk to someone who is familiar so you don’t get a lot of questions about what it is like.

We have two kids and are working on a third. I don’t really think about most of the time. It just is. She’s a wonderful mother and wife. And while it has been crazy at times, no pun intended, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I often laugh when I hear people complaining at work, or parties, or whatever about how stressful their lives are or how demanding their spouses can be. They have no idea.

Only a few know of her diagnosis. It’s not out of embarrassment or shame. It’s mainly out of respect to those individuals. They have no reason to suspect she has it and, quite frankly, since most professionals can’t handle it I wouldn’t expect them to.

Again, we are blessed to be so close to such fantastic health care. We went broke and filed bankruptcy and are always living check to check. The care isn’t cheap but it’s well worth it for us. In fact, as I was typing this my wife called and let me know they turned the cable off. Oh well.

I know we’re lucky. What’s important to us isn’t what’s important to most people our age and our situation. As I’m sure a lot of you will agree when you’ve been through and dealt with this it doesn’t make sense to stress the little things. We are truly able to focus on what is really important. And that truly is a blessing. We don’t have much, but, we have our family and that’s all that matters.

Forgive me if ran on too long or repeated myself. Oh, and my grammar.

I’m not qualified to give advice other than to say it’s important to find a therapist you trust. Keep going and going and searching and searching. Find out what’s available in your area. Don’t be afraid to question people. Fight. Fight. Fight. It’s worth it.

And, most important, smile. We deserve it!

My partner of 8 years and I just split up. I believe that he may have DID. Seems like this may be a fit because he does some crazy things and his voice even changes, like a different persona, as was described in this article. During the past two years, I suspected that he had severe depression and he has admitted to that but won’t seek help. For a long time, he has said he doesn’t know who he is and has made me think I was going crazy myself.

I have a friend who was diagnosed by a therapist who told her she had numerous alternate personalities DID.

I’m not saying that DID does not exist, but it turned out it my friend’s case that she had a very extreme form of epilepsy and her bouts of ‘lost time’ and frequent car crashes from when she blacked out were all attributable to the epilepsy.

She had to have brain surgery in order to treat the epilepsy but since that time has not had another seizure (or incidence of lost time) ever since.

I think people need to be very insistent that all other medical conditions are ruled out before they accept the DID diagnoses.

My friend was furious that there was treatment available and because of her therapist she was not able to access it because the DID’s diagnosis is not treatable. She said she spent seven years going to this therapist who featured her in all sorts of papers and articles only to find out that she could have had an operation which would have alleviated her symptoms.

I’m not saying that this is the case for everybody with DID, but again, I am putting it out there just so people make sure to check it out.

I am very grantful to Hershel for having the courage to speak out. I myself suffer from D.I.D. and have my whole life, but was only diagnosed last year. (I am 35). I am undergoing integration (bringing the parts together) right now through weekly counseling. I will say this… the past 17 months of integration have been the most difficult of my life, but I have more peace now than I ever have or could have imagined. I have a long way to go, but I’m getting there. Thank you Hershel for telling your story. It will help alot of us not feel embrassed anymore and to reach out for support. God bless.

I was diagnosed with DID and PTSD 18 years ago. I had 33 alters.

I have been in intensive psychotherapy for all of those years, with two different, incredibly loving, compassionate therapists; who have been so patient for such a long duration of therapy. I am almost at the end of the integration process. Praise God.

My marriage ended when my spouse didn’t/couldn’t believe the trauma happened with my father and the KKK. I couldn’t take it anymore, because the longer I was in therapy, the more I started having horrific flashbacks.

What someone needs in a marriage with a spouse with DID is compassion, support, and a good sense of humor. Those with DID are incredibly creative, passionate about life after depression lifts, and have survived what is equivelent to active wartime combat for several years.

I want to testify that I was born again with Jesus in my heart in 1990, when I could no longer go on as usual. I had graduated from college, married, and had a child. After her birth, I became severely depressed, and couldn’t come out of it, even with medication.

I voluntarity checked myself into a psychiatric in patient hospital, and spent a month there. Good medical insurance paid for all of it. That’s when my journey to recovery and restoration began.

For all of you out there, struggling to make decisions, and get help, I want you to know that even if you can’t feel His help, God wants to help you. He is a God of restoration. All you have to do is ask.

He provided me with the money, with insurance, for the entire 18 years of therapy. I have always been able to work, but I have had many jobs during that time, which is a miracle in itself. I earn a low to middle income level. I’ve never been without insurance, despite many job changes. God provides.

In other words, the payments for 18 years of 3-4 times/week psychotherapy costing an ave. $ 125/hour is astronomical. Only God can do that.

I have taken medication for Major Depression for the 18 years. Slowly, and with more and more integration, I am also coming out of the depression. Praise God.

Never give up. Never give in to the torment. God wins in the end. And you can too.

You can do it!

Interesting diagnosis. I’m wondering if any use of steroids contributed to his behavior as it sounds typical of documented cases.

I have DID. I get really tired of it.

My partner of 8 years has six alter egos. The youngest two are 4 and 7. The rest range in age from 17 to 70. It’s not frightening or at all bad. Sometimes it can be comical. The 7 year old drives…and not very well. The cat is getting enormous because the 4 year old gets up in the middle of the night to play with him, then feeds him. Another one takes the wheel of the car when my partner and I have had too much to drink and I guarantee if he was pulled over, the officer would judge him perfectly sober. One sleeps all the time (because he is old) and one is an African American nanny that takes care of the two youngest (my partner is a middle aged white male).

The medical community should do more studies on this as I truly believe there is a physiological aspect to this condition. My partner wears glasses, in fact he is legally blind in one eye. But his alters see perfectly normally and drive without glasses or contacts. Furthermore, if an alter emerges while he is driving, the alter will remove my partner’s contacts and place them in my hand. We haven’t had a wreck yet! There are other physical differences I have noticed (he gets leaner and more muscular when the teenaged alter emerges and his alters have different blood pressure then his).

My partner is the best person I know. And considering all the trauma he experienced (which began while he was a a small child and continued well into his adulthood), I am just glad he is alive and that none of his alters are a danger to him or us. In fact, I like his alters and thankfully, they have grown to love and trust me. They are all in therapy with a professional who has treated over 120 patients with this condition. It is a condition, not a mental illness. My partner has a Ph D and is a well accomplished and completely functional member of society. The worst part of this for him is that he has little memory of the times he dissociates (sometimes he regains the memory at a later date or knows something happened because he experiences it as though it happened to someone else, not to him). I think in the past it has caused him relationship problems and it is sad that since this condition is so subtle, it is hard to diagnose and harder for those of us who live with a multiple to figure it out to begin with. For a long time, I thought I had joined up with a man who had difficulty telling the truth. In fact, I had hooked up with a man who experienced life in a completely different fashion than most. He had to live his life each day, trying to figure out what happened the day before, the week before, month before or year (s) before.

A gentleman asked earlier if a relationship was possible long term. Well, I haven’t and have no plans to go anywhere. We were together for 5 years before I knew there was anything wrong. I have just taken on different roles as needed by my partner when his alters emerge. And I have remained fully supportive of him and grown to understand his “quirks”.

I am pleased that someone as accomplished as Herschel Walker has had the courage to come forward and give this condition another face, vs. the standard Sally Field/Hollywood version of the disorder.

I was diagnosed in 1994. I have been hiding this from everyone I know because I am afraid of my own diagnosis. I have had many wonderful therapists over the years who have helped me, dealt with my alters, but I tell no one. I am a professional and would not be able to continue working in my field if anyone knew. I am not crazy I am just an adult who survived horrible child abuse. I’ll keep the PTSD diagnosis but will never share about my “alters”. I am glad that Mr. Walker can come forth with his story. But, he has the money to do so without losing a job. I do hope it does some good because we who
deal with this every day are ordinary people with very difficult but ordinary lives.

Paul
The woman I have been seeing has this disorder. Because of past trauma our relationship is platonic. It has been a real struggle for me to understand and deal with it. I had to seek counselling myself in order to cope. I can understand why most people would walk away from someone with this disorder but then there is something else that becomes stronger. At least that is how it is for me.
Good luck and I do wish you the best. Stay strong. Find support for yourself as well.

Tom

My Grandmother had many personalities. 4 that I know of. One she called Norma Jean, after Marilyn Monroe, who would sleep around quite a bit, and would urge my mother around men to not call her mom. A few of the personalities hated my mother and would abuse her. Another would be what my mom calls “the nice mom”, who was completely in love her children and would love them more then anything. Then there was the business and acccounting one. This one was like a math genius who could do business and acounting really well. My mom says that there were many more but she doesn’t remember them all. Like some of the other stories, this started with abuse. My grandmother was sexually and physically abused as a child. I think this is a disorder that isn’t spoken about much. So it’s interesting to hear about what they have learned about it over the years.

I am a 34yr mother of 3 and happily married most of the time. and resently been diagnosed with CPTSD-DID. There is a spectrum of DID from daydreaming and playing roles such as mother at home, professional at work etc. to a complete separation of parts. I believe I am moderate to severe and too tired to explain how or why. There is no one absolute DID; the personal expereince is as unique and the trauma experience that started the whole thing. You can say there are simularities and commonality but it is a rainbow of gray. My understanding of the start is a traumatic experience as a child usually before the age of 6 when the child mentally checks out to survive the experience. The dissociation usually manifests itself later in adult hood. I have not yet understood or found explanation for this later unveiling but I do know that for me the protection this dissaccociation provided as a child is no longer helping me but hurting me. I feel as though I have been robed of my life because only a little bit of it has been lived by each part (loss of time). There is also no specific type of trauma experience although there is more DID related to sexual abuse which supports the hugh number of women diagnosed with DID since it is prodominantly females who are sexually abused. It is not necessarily the “what” as it is how one experiences “what”.

As a psychologist, I am somewhat dismayed at the unbalanced reports that have been part of the new revelation with regard to Herschel Walker. It should be noted that not only is there some degree of controversy with regard to the existence of the disorder itself, but that there is also the question of accuracy with regard to its diagnosis. Many psychologists consider it to be the byproduct of a personality disorder, most prominently Borderline Personality Disorder, which is often seen as a dramatic expression of labile mood, relational problems, self-harm, and unstable sense of self that is also often associated with trauma and includes the criterion of “severe dissociative symptoms” (American Psychiatric Association, 2000). I have read some comments on other news sites that mention such a diagnosis must be real and accurate because it is found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), which is used by psychologists and psychiatrists to determine diagnostic criteria. However, it should be noted that these disorders change with research and societal norms and that Homosexuality used to be considered a disorder in a previous version. Furthermore, the DSM also indicates that some professionals believe that the disorder is frequently overdiagnosed in highly suggestible individuals. Other respondents have expressed praise for his therapist. However, when researching information on the therapist, his degrees are largely in theology and one religious manuscript I read indicated he believes that demonic possession and spiritual issues should be ruled out in order to make an accurate diagnosis. Is this therapist even licensed to provide mental health services? I realize that his website lists his involvement in many projects but I did not notice any mention of licensure. Furthermore, was Walker’s diagnosis verified by any psychological test data or was it derived solely by his self-report, his therapist’s gut feeling, and the determination by his therapist that there is an absence of any demonic possession. I believe there should be more balanced information presented with regard to Dissociative Identity Disorder and whether or not there are possibly other issues at work that may be further influenced by the motivation to sell a book. I am not saying the disorder does not exist at all and will admit that it is possible that Walker is afflicted by a dissociative disorder. However, I believe there should be additional attention paid to the issue rather than perpetuating semi-accurate or one-sided information. I appreciate the efforts by a few respondents on various sites who have included some of this additional information.

I work as a therapist in NYC. In response to Vivian – schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder. It is sometimes mistakenly called “split personality” but this is inaccurate. The term schizophrenia actually means “split mind.” The mind is unable to differentiate what is real from fantasy. Schizophrenics may have paranoid delusions, or may sound nonsensical when they speak, or may experience hallucinations, i.e. voices speaking to them. Schizophrenia is primarily genetic in origin, though environmental stress does play a role.

DID is caused by repeated, severe trauma during childhood. The emotions and memories that result from these traumas are overwhelming, and are dissociated from the conscious mind. Over time, this dissociation actually becomes part of the personality structure of the child. This is the brief version – reading _Sybil_ might be really helpful.

I agree that Hershel Walker is very brave to come forward to speak about his illness.

You ask, “Have you seen or heard of anything like this?” My answer is yes.

I have DID, was diagnosed with it, or rather, MPD, in the early 1970’s. Sometime between 1974 and 1976, my parents took me to counseling for a year. I only remember going twice, but according to them, I went for over a year. It was during that time I was diagnosed with MPD.

My parents did not tell me of my diagnosis, and it wasn’t until either 1989 or 90 when I was hospitalized for suicidal tendancies that I was diagnosed again. At that time, the name was still MPD.

I am very glad to see that Herschel Walker is “coming out”, talking about his experiences with DID. It helps to show that those of us with DID can be “functional” members of society. No, that doesn’t mean we are necessarily “sane” (by the DSM-IV standpoint of sane), but we aren’t all like “Sybil” or “The Three Faces of Eve” either. We can hold jobs, and be responsible members of society.

As for me, I have a ‘normal’ life. I am married, stepmother to my husband’s child. I am active in a time consuming hobby. I don’t have a job now only because I’ve recently undergone knee surgery and am still in recovery from that. But until the knee surgery, I held a part time job to get me out of the house.

I also just happen to have 3 alternate personalities besides “me”. No big deal. At least, my husband and friends don’t seem to mind.

I am so very proud of Herschel to have made it this far. But I am equally disappointed that Cindy and Herschel are no longer together. I met Herschel and Cindy after a Cowboys game once, and it was the thrill of my life. He was such a kind and accommodating person, and she was equally gracious. I have suffered my own similar issues with mental, although not to the extent of Herschel’s challenge, and I know how hard it is to train yourself to put things into perspective. I can honestly say that I am more of an admirer of Walker than before. It takes great courage to let others know of something that is afflicting you that is not tangible to them. I am glad that he has gotten help. I pray that both Cindy and Herschel will continue to find peace in their respective lives. Thank you.

I am sad to hear that Mr. Walker has struggled with the problems of alters, although I understand how adaptive they can also be. I used to be dissociative and like others did not know what was wrong (for sure) until young adulthood. Unlike most of the posters here, I had very little formal therapy; I had some extraordinarily supportive friends and a loving husband. I actually felt more secure in what I did remember because I knew no one had coached me and I had not been hypnotized- the usual charges of the “False Memory” advocates. (yes, false memories can be implanted- but horrific things also do happen, no matter how difficult for outsiders to believe)
I now work in the mental health field and speak up against stereotypes or misconceptions about MPD/DID when I encounter them. I do not tell most people, though, because of those reactions.
Final integration happened for me when I did not expect it, and living that way was also a big adjustment. It gets tiring being the same person all the time! I can say it is worth the work of healing, and that I have been able to accomplish things that honestly would not have been possible while still fighting myself.
Thank you to all those who have had the nerve to step out of the shadows. The best thing about this article and those like it is a new normalization of DID as just another type of disorder rather than a freak show or dramatization and lies.
Healing from trauma is like grieving; there is no one right way, no set timetable, and does not work better if others rush it. People at this end of the dissociation spectrum deserve to be treated as people while they still have alters, helped to manage intrapersonal conflict better, heal from their trauma and find additional healthy ways of handling life problems. Integration is not the only valid endpoint, but it is worth working toward. You will always be who you truly are.

If one percent of the population has this difference, then is it a natural variation or is it definitely always caused by outside abuse? Is it a sensitivity or coping mechanism that is “triggered” by abuse?

The archetypal descriptions of personalities is especially useful and begs the question as to their dramatic origins…

DID is a crippling disorder that can take years and years of intensive therapy to overcome. I was diagnosed with DID 13 years ago and am finally to the point where I can function as an emotionally healthy individual. I spent the first 40 years of my life as a miserable human being and I did not know why. Receiving the correct diagnosis and proper therapy has allowed me to understand what happened to me as a child and how it has affected every aspect of my life since that time.

Kudos to Herschel for coming forward and for getting treatment.
******For Dr. Gupta: Herschel’s psychiatrist has the reputation of being rather “far out there” in terms of his treatment methods. I cringed when I read who he was seeing. Has Hershcel considered contacting Dr. Colin Ross, who is considered one of the foremost experts on this disorder? Dr. Ross has a very good treatment program in Dallas at Timberlawn Hospital. I would encourage Herschel to check into this if he is not already firmly committed to Dr. Mungadze. Thank you.*******

My husband is DID. We have been married for 6 years. Sometimes he admits he has it and sometimes he adamantly denies he has it. Go figure! HA! Well, you learn to laugh about these things – when it’s not absolutely driving you crazy yourself! He has four alters, that I know of, and I’m pretty sure there are more. I haven’t been very patient and understanding about it as I didn’t understand it all. As a spouse, it can make you think you are the one who is crazy. My husband has an alter that is very, I mean very manipulative, so it’s taken a lot of work, on my part, to realize it is not me who needs the help. I have to think through events or happenings to get my head clear as to what really happened. I’m just now really learning about it all and it is helping me to see that it’s not me. He was definitely traumatized as a child. He remembers some things but doesn’t like to talk about it but I’m sure there are more trauma than he remembers and likely much worse than he can remember. He did therapy for a few months and I did see some remarkable integration but he didn’t like the work and the memories. It made him feel drained and he quit going, saying, “It did no good.” He doesn’t know who he is and he states that almost weekly. He detaches so easily and seamlessly when difficult situations arise. I get left holding the responsibility. He says he feels like he is in a movie and that nothing is real. Sometimes he will touch something and look at it, like a wall or desk, and wonder if it’s real or imaginary. I am very sad for him but the subject of DID is currently not up for discussion. I hope he will get help in the near future. No one knows he has this disorder but I know his family would recognize it if they were educated about it. I know that me gaining knowledge and support will be the key to open the door for him.

By the way, that yahoo support group posted below is an email address not a discussion group. Could someone post the link instead of the email? Thanks!

I am happy Herschel went public with this. It will bring much-needed attention to this devastating disorder. I hope it brings attention as well to the extreme trauma that sets off the disorder in the first place.

Abuse. Severe, grotesque and brutal abuse is the hallmark of persons with DID. Remembering is so painful, that compartamentalizing is really the only way a scared little girl can go on.
Wow. I feel so grateful that a guy like Herschel can share what many of us feel we woul be ridiculed for.
I am a DID patient, highly functioning, high achieving and a wonderful community citizen. Yet, here I am with memories and memories of things that happened that I am trying to give voice to.

I was diagnosed with DID several years ago and have over 16 alters. I have found that a lot of people, including the medical field, do not understand or believe in DID. It is so hard for us that do have it to get help when we need it. I commend Mr. Walker for speaking out about DID and what he has gone through. I would like to say a big thank you to Mr. Walker and CNN for talking about this online and on TV. Maybe now more people can and will realize what people like me with DID go through on a daily basis.

Please tell Mr. Walker thank you.

Sincerely,
a fellow multiple

Reading the blog post for April 15th reached up and grabbed me. This is what I believe I have, but I remember more
than Herschel does when he flips personalities. The phrase “the lack of one cohesive personality”is when I knew it. This sucks. To take so long to find out what I had. This doesn’t change my course of medicine, though, because I haven’t felt this good… since at least the age of 7.

I just want to add that I’m on Seroquel and Strattera and it has been an awesome combination for me… the Seroquel in particular.

i did not like the segment on DID. i do not believe the tv people did their homework on this devestating disorder. multiple personality disorder is a misnomer . . . it has not been called this for years because there are not “multiple people” inside as it is implied. to call the disorder MPD is really only to get the audience attention and to sell books. to say that it is so controversial is also an antiquated view. 80 percent of psych professionals are comfortable with it being legitiment. the government also recognizes it as a disability. it can be a very painful, debilitating disorder. the disorder is also caused by poor parenting. if a child is bullied and he has a loving, comforting parent or caretaker to go home to, he will probably not develop this condition (from what i have read). i feel this show set back the progress of this disorder several years. i do not believe the incident about the gun at ex wife temple. is it any wonder i tell no one about this disorder? are they giong to think i could be violent and put a gun to their head??? are they going to think i am making it up when they see on a show such as this that it is so “controversial?” PLEASE DO YOUR HOMEWORK BEFORE PUTTING SOMETHING LIKE THIS ON NATIONAL TELEVISION!

Motivational speaker Anthony Robbins has claimed that he has cured a couple of these people after they spent years in treatment with different therapists. He refers to the treatment as “integrating the personalities.” I’ve never heard anyone challenge his assertion. Maybe Herschel should give him a call.

I have had mental illness most of my life. It is a struggle. Most of the time ,even from my own doctors, it is treated as if it should be a secret.
I am going through severe depression now and just hearing that others have the same problems and are willing to discuss them give me hope that one day mental illness will be treated as any other illness; with respect,help, and compassion. Most families have mental illness in their families and yet most deny that it is in their families or with themselves. 2008 and we still want to pretend that it happens to others and not ourselves.

For someone who had DID, it was sort of reassuring to my own system to hear about Herschel Walker. Having this disorder is not easy; and the people close to you do not know how to
deal with it and a lot them do not believe it just like most of the world. I have been diagnosed for about six years; and since I was I can look back at the past with more understanding of what was going on with me. DID is a complicated system and works differently in everyone. There can be memory loss when other personalities have “taken over”, sometimes it can be like watching your life through a window and not being able to control what is going on, some people are able to function in public, and (like me) some people are not. There are a lot of other aspects to this disorder. And it is hard to see it portrayed on television shows in very inaccurate ways. Hopefully this story will bring the disorder to the forefront and help people understand the DID is very real and that those of us who have it are not fakers or freaks.

I have come to believe that DID is not a devestating disorder as some have described it here. Rather, DID is a highly intelligent, highly creative survival mechanism. Without the development of alter personalities, those of us with DID would not have survived our (horrific) childhood.

Splitting off into multiple personalities is a child’s way of dealing with devastating situations the child’s brain cannot (and is not yet developmentally equipped to) deal with.

If the general population could view DID from this vantage point, it would not be nearly as scary, mind boggling, confusing, or bizarre. It is a coping mechanism meant to protect the child from the horror they faced.

The problem comes when the child grows into an adult, and the personalities no longer need to function in the manner they did previously. Unfortunately, the personalities don’t know they don’t need to perform their previous functions, and so they continue in the roles they’ve become accustomed to.

As an example: Where a threat to a child’s body, say through a physical beating, might trigger a particular personality to come out to take the beating and then shield the child from the experience, now, in adulthood, a person of similar stature to the abuser, who may approach the adult in a *seemingly* threatening manner (but does not actually pose a threat to the adult) will trigger the same personality to come out in order to defend against the threat. The alter cannot tell the difference between a real threat and one that just resembles a prior threat – that personality simply fulfills its role as it has always done.

Unfortunately, because of the automatic switching and the lack of knowledge on the part of the adult that the switching is occuring, the adult has no control.

And so a normally docile person can appear to be an extremely defensive person – disproportunate to the situation at hand – which leads to those on the outside viewing their behavior as bizarre or confusing.

But once you, as the person with DID, understand what is happening, and why it is happening, it begins to make sense. At that point you can begin to gain some control over what is happening.

It is true that in the process of becoming aware of the alters you will become conscious of the many horrors you survived. That is the painful, devastating part of having DID. But with support and understanding, you WILL get through it.

I was diagnosed in my early 20s and came to know and understand over 30 personalities within me and the many horrors they experienced. I didn’t consciously work toward integration, but as some of the alters told their stories, and had been heard and loved despite their experiences, they absorbed into me.

After about 10 years, I spontaneously integrated most of the remaining alters through guided imagery. Out of any experience, I would have to say integration was the most devastating for me. As someone else here said, it is far more difficult living as one than it was living as many. What I found most difficult to get used to was having to stay present during difficult situations, and living without all the noise. I had no idea “normal” people don’t live with constant noise in their heads. The silence is deafening.

I believe, as someone else here talked about, that the medical aspects of DID are important to speak to. Prior to integration, I was found to have 2 different blood types. I have been diagnosed with a thyroid condition and not, depending on the alter present. I have Mitral Valve Prolapse, and I don’t. One of my alters had an 8″ scar on her leg, none of the others did. Their eye color would change. They have completely different facial and body structures.

I too, as someone else talked about here, had alters of vastly different age ranges, different races, and different genders. I had a couple of alters who spoke different languages even though I only speak English.

I have always been highly functioning, thanks to my alters. They got me through school, college and graduate school with high honors. I’m not sure I could have done it without them.

I now live with an incredibly supportive, loving and understanding partner. Is it easy living with me (a stubborn, independent, highly opinionated woman) plus a 3yo and a fiercely protective older alter? No, I can’t imagine it is. But as others have said, it can be quite comical, entertaining, and definitely not mundane. My partner learned very quickly how to talk to a 3yo – and given she was entering a relationship with me having a young child, having no experience with children prior to our relationship, the 3yo was an excellent teacher. As I had no memory of her encounters with the 3yo, my partner’s understanding and learning came through not only talking to the 3yo, but then processing the conversations with me. It was an interesting process – me learning more about my 3yo alter, trying to figure out what her communications were about, and then trying to interpret them and explain them to my partner. It really was a very enlightening time for me.

I would caution anyone looking for a therapist – either as a person with DID or as the SO of a person with DID – to avoid professionals who are less than 100% supportive (see an example above). If you run into a mental health professional who has even an incling of doubt, run in the other direction. It’s hard enough to deal / live with DID, let alone having to justify yourself to someone who is supposed to be supportive – who gets PAID to be supportive.

I would like to thank Mr. Walker for having the courage to come forward with his story. While I disagree with the emphasis on the violent parts of his personality, I hold no illusions that we “common” people could bring even a fraction of the validity to this disorder as Mr. Walker can / has.

Let me say one final thing about violent personalities – they are completely normal. As children, we had to have fierce protectors in order to survive. They would go to any and all lengths to protect us.

But think about the means a child has to protect themselves – they can’t go and kill someone, even though that might have been an instinctive self-defense technique … they don’t have the means or the strength or the intellect to do such a thing. As adults, we *do* have that capacity, and thus the personalities who were the protectors do too. I believe that the vast majority of us who do have those violent protectors, also have enough non-violent protectors to counteract and talk the violent ones out of taking action. That certainly sounds like it was the case with Mr. Walker.

To jillo,

Yes, DID is a natural capacity all individuals possess. It’s a natural coping mechanism. Everyone who has experienced a powerful emotionally or physically stressful situations probably remembers a feeling of “distance” fromthe event at some time. When such stress is prolonged and/or very extreme that distancing can become extreme as in PTSD and in the case of children can become a permanent coping mechanism.

As my therapists describes it (I am DID with half a dozen parts), DID is “a sane response to an insane situation.”

Dr. Gupta,
Not only did you not no anything about multiple personality before, you still don’t. Saying its now DID, like that makes a difference, is like saying Bi-Polar is not Manic-Depressive. Its just a name change to try to rationalize the condition like naming a brutal procedure a “cure” for mental illness and calling it the “trans-orbital” lobotomy. I can’t go into all the details about this and many psychiatric conditions i have researched because i have a book almost finished about DID/Multiple Personality and a lot more. Doctors bled people as a cure for a variety of conditions including “mental illness” for over 2,000 years well into the 19th century. Psychiatry is still in the stone age. Looking for a publisher now.–had to make a couple of grammatical corrections as i wrote this comment so fast.. what would your explanation be. multiple personality.

I also have this disorder, and let me tell you it is no picnic. I have been in therapy for many many years and now have a good Christian therapist who has learned bunches about the disorder. I have 33 alters and some not yet met ( this comes from the other personalities telling this ). The process to having DID is a tramatic one, most often physical, mental, spiritual, and most times sexual abuse. As a child I did not know I had this, even though I was accused many times by my parents of being a liar, not paying attention, being crazy and so on. My grades in school jumped around like crazy depending on which alter was in school that day or on test day. It was confusing to my teachers who noted the changes in me but had no idea what the problem was. I was sent to therapists for being “different “, and had alters who were abusive to my pets and actually set fire to the house when I was in grade school. My life was filled with abuse most could not even imagine, yet alone live through. I thank God everyday now for the DID because I know that that is what saved me from spending my life in a mental institution. My alters come out when needed and I have no control over that. Stress, even good stress can cause switching. Some alters are easy to recognize, some arent. I have been very fortunate that my husband has stuck it out with me. I have never had many friends and still don’t. I have a couple of close friends, one knows the other wonders. I applaude Mr Walker for coming out with this diagnosis, because he will be open to much verbal abuse from people who don’t believe this. It is not for us to judge whether he is really ” multiple ” or not. DID people just need support, not many therapists around. People like Rosanne Barr who claim to have this and then recant later hurt the ones that really do suffer from this and who come forward. Why can’t society just come to grips with this ?? Because of movies, that’s why. They display most DID people as crazy acting, and yes, sometimes I am crazy acting, but I have also held down a job for 11 years ( could not do that before ) have raised two children who grew up with my alters, and now have 3 grandkids I help with. DID people are not always out of touch. Some are, some arent’. I just want people to understand that true DID people have been through a horrible life, and only need to be supported through the intergration process, and treatment process, not made fun of or avoided. True friends are very hard for a DID to find, because you can hide this disorder to an extent, but close friends will notice something, just not know what it is. Thank you for letting me vent, and to Mr Walker, God bless you for coming out in the open. I only wish I had the nerve to do that. We are not freaks, we are people who have alot to offer society. I like to refer to it as Multiple Personality Gift because that is what it is, a gift. God Bless all who are healing from this and the ones who do not yet know what is wrong with them. Get good counseling, and be very careful in that area also, ask around, you will get good names of Dr’s who believe you and can treat you.

If only there was a way to protect all children from severe abuse so that this disorder never developed. While it’s encouraging to know that awareness (and hopefully acceptance) of DID is growing, it is so sad to think of what caused it in thefirst place.

I am glad to see a high profile person like Herschel Walker come forward to talk about his struggle with DID. I am 50 years old and have just this past year been diagnosed with this disorder. I like to think of it more as a survival technique.

Naysayers would like to invalidate the existence of this disorder. I will tell you that there are some of us who have suffered so tremendously in our childhoods that we had to reorder reality in a way that could keep us alive. The torture and abuse of all kinds that I received are unimaginable to most of society, so horrible that even my own undeveloped brain could not make room for it all. Hence, the dividing off of parts of myself from other parts of myself.

I agree with one writer who said that she is not violent. That is descriptive of me as well. I have anger, yes, but I have somehow been able to keep from inflicting harm on others as it was inflicted on me. I have learned that very few people who have DID are violent, in fact, and that is a point which needs to be made loud and clear because of the inaccuracies that abound.

Awareness can help everybody. I hope as the conversation regarding this disorder continues, a more full-bodied understanding can develop that will help us all to move forward so that more victims can be integrated, both with themselves and with the whole of society.

Loneliness is the heaviest burden that a person with DID carries.

Just wanted to let people know that recovery is possible. I have DID, and so does my husband. We’ve been together 11 years. It can work. Thanks for a non circus-act type of article on this current story.

I do not have DID nor do I know anyone with it, but as a survivor of childhood abuse and bullying and PTSD I am very much aware of Hershel Walker’s courage to admit to DID and also to the bullying that caused it.

I have always felt that our consciousness is kind of like a computer monitor. There much that goes on that drives our interface of what we and others percieve as consciousness. If it weren’t for this interface, we would starve. I don’t mean to be ignorant to please forgive me if I sound preposterous, but it has been my belief for many years that we ALL have multiple personalities in us, working like the folders that are in a computer core. I wonder if having DID simply means these “folders” are appearing onscreen as the program is being run: a computer glitch. Something is in us that keeps them in check, so maybe having DID isn’t what’s wrong, but more like another component of our brains, like Control Central, is somehow wired wrong and so can’t keep these multiple personalities from popping to the surface.

I agree Christy

My mother is in the process of being diagnosed. Maybe BPD, HPD or could be DID. I would like to see Dr.Gupta and Anderson Cooper do a story on how EXTREMELY DIFFICULT it is to find help in the mental health system for your family! I have bee n begging for someone to help her before she hurt herself or someone else……and we were almost to late. Finally, I have her admitted and someone is listening, but has taken years!!!!

To Lori,

I’m not sure where you have your mom admitted, but there is only one place that I know of (after extensive research for myself) that has the full understanding of DID (and will instruct each patient), and the ability to make a proper diagnosis. Their approach is a combination of individualized and group therapy, and is highly effective with PTSD as well as DID. They actually know as much as there currently is to know. They can explain the how and the whys of this mental (emotional) disorder in a very accurate and down to earth manner, which is far more than I can say of Dr Gupta. Much of what he has said is inaccurate, and it is so unfortunate that he is the one with the national news podium!

I am referring to THE WOMEN’S INSTITUTE FOR INCORPORATION THERAPY [WIIT] in the Hollywood Pavilion Hospital in Hollywood, Florida. The founder and director is Dr .William B. Tollefson, PhD. Please do your mother the biggest favor of her life and contact them.

http://www.wiit.com

Dr. Tollefson has written a book as well, and can be ordered through his web site.

Familiarize yourself with WIIT through their website. Call and speak with their personnel, they KNOW what they are doing, and you will immediately be able to see that–they are very patient, calm, and accomodating, as well as full of the information you are seeking. Then order the book. I am absolutely sure that you will not be sorry for taking the time and energy to do this!

I wish you the best…
AJM

I am trying to email this article on to a friend and there was no option.
Please advise because I know someone with DID.

My son Shatarro Robinson has the same symptoms that Herschel Walker has, can you help me.

The vast majority, and probably all, of multiple personality cases are the result of bad therapy, or people reading credulous books about MPD (or DID, as it has been renamed to try to make it less controversial). I can tell that this is certainly not a popular view on this blog, but if you review the scholarly, skeptical literature on the subject, you will find that a small coterie of MPD “gurus” cue their clients in this belief, and that it became a full-fledged epidemic in the 1980s once insurance companies would pay for the diagnosis. Once someone comes to believe in their “alters,” the condition becomes all too real for them, and truly painful, so it is not a matter of anyone, including Herschel Walker, being an “imposter.” It is a matter of taking someone with problems and making them much, much worse by eliciting and naming various parts (often through hypnosis, which simply makes people suggestible). In Herschel Walker’s case, his therapist, Jerry Mungadze, is known to believe in all the claptrap about ritual abuse and repressed memories. It is not surprising that Mr. Walker, questioning his identity after retiring from fame and football, should fall into this trap. But like most people who believe they suffer from MPD, he did not know about his alters or name them until he was “helped” and “educated” by his therapist.

Kudos to the many people that have spoken up for the real survivors. I was diagnosed with DID 3 years ago. The realization that my parents had tortured and abused me was so incredibly painfull that I didn’t want to believe it could have really happened. Instead I joked that perhaps I was the first person to have DID for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I see Mr. Walker has claimed this title as his own. All the current research says that the abuse has to happen before the age of 7 to cause the mind to completely compartmentilze different thoughts, feelings and memories.

Personally, I think he did a great disservice to those of us who truly have this. I have to wonder about the line of thinking of both Mr. Walker and his therapist to put forth this book claiming he has a disorder caused by severe torture and abuse (most generally of a sexual nature) in early childhood, and then claim that nothing of that sort happened. It’s only a matter of time before he is tore apart in the press and completely discredited. I can only pray the fallout doesn’t hit the true SURVIVORS.

to “rs”

obviously you do not have this diagnosis. how shallow is your thinking! have you ever heard of the word “splitting” . . . if iyou have ever “split” then you would not have one doubt that dissociative disordres exist. i do not believe one single person would continue to go to therapy if the diagnosis did not match their experience. it takes some people a loooong time to accept the diagnosis because they think the therapist is nuts – but they continue to go to therapy because little things the therapist says at the beginning begin to make since.

to “waslm” . . . maybe your disorder is not painful. it bothers me when people call it a “gift” . i am always suicidal because of this disorder because of the pain it causes and disruption it causes in work, relationoships, money, etc.

As a survivor of severe abuse, which left me in a dissociated state, I’m encouraged to see people talk about it. It’s something that needs to be addressed with a positive prognosis. My own experience encouraged me to be trained in a process that has brought lasting results, and freedom to my life. My hat’s off to those who are brave enough to say something about it, and more – move into a place of freedom. I am now helping others break free from the bondages and challenges that come from dissociation.

It’s encouraging to me to hear Walker talk freely about the disorder because I too have been diagnosed with DID. Unlike him, however, I am very much ashamed of it; I respect the courage it must take for him to share it. As a child I was sexually molested by my father which is a very common cause of the disorder. I had no memory of this abuse until depression and anxiety forced me into therapy. There the alters began talking to my therapist and I discovered what they had been protecting me from all of those years.

I was told by a family member to look at this article, and I’m just shaking my head. I’m really relieved to see other people voicing concerns over the bad impression this article gives of those who have been diagnosed with MPD/DID. Also, it’s refreshing to see that I’m not the first person to comment on this that was diagnosed as being DID, did not integrate, and has a productive life now.

I share my headspace with 15 other people. Even though I developed PTSD symptoms in my teenage years, signs of me not being “alone in here” have been evident to family members since the age of 5. I requested a full psychiatric assessment at the age of 19, as I already knew what was going on, but felt I needed validation. After diagnosis, I continued treatment with a psychiatrist, which didn’t help. I became more dissociative and depressed when taking anti depressants and anti anxiety medication. I decided to go another route: acceptance. Help my people learn how to communicate with one another and get along. Deal with the PTSD as is with psychiatric social workers and peer counselors. I ate well and exercised, meditated, did CBT, and group therapy. If later on down the line it wasn’t working and my people still wanted to integrate, “we” would go that route.

It’s been 9 years. I don’t have blackouts. My people get along as well as any family would. I’m in a successful long-term relationship, I’m able to work, and I’m a parent as well. Most who I tell are surprised, saying that I “seem so normal”. I have to be careful with who I tell though, because sensationalized media articles like this one make the average person think that multiples are dangerous and crazy.

I’ve heard quite a bit about Herschel Walker and the different responses to what he’s revealed about his life. I am one of many within a Plural Group and I consider this to be a lifestyle and not a disorder at all. Who is to say that only having one mind within a body is to be the norm? I consider that to be unusual myself. Our group does not have the medical version of Multiplicity. We do not experience blackouts, lost time, or any of the other “symptoms” which are considered to be disordered. We co-exist together and learn to share our lives together.

It’s frustrating to hear about the stereotypes that are automatically assumed whenever the subject of Multiplicity is brought up. That is must mean childhood abuse, that it’s so very rare, that everyone in a Plural Group are broken from one original person, that there must be some dangerous person amongst everyone, that it’s impossible for everyone to be aware of one another, and that there must be one person the shared body belongs to.

The body we all share belongs to not one single one of us, yet we share it whenever we do come here to Front with it. I do understand that there are many who fit the criteria of being “disordered”. But what may be true for some, is not true for all. Thank you for this article.

-Tristan, Jenilee & Kasia

I’m confused. I’ve gone through several diagnoses. I’ve worked for 14 years with a therapist who has NOT made money off me. I go back and forth DID yes, DID no. Those with supportive SO are very lucky. My SO (married 28 years) does NOT believe DID exists. He won’t divorce me and he won’t be supportive. I just want to stop being unhappy and dysfunctional. Right now I don’t believe I’m DID. I think I’ve made this up and exaggerated my childhood pain. Sometimes I’ve believed the parts of myself that are alters, sometimes I think it is not true and I must have let myself be talked into a false thing. Then I remember some bad things that I know about my life from before ANY therapy. Then I wonder why else would I be TERRIFIED of intimacy with a good spouse. So many questions, so much pain, I just want to resolve my past before it’s too late to have my present. Right now my counselor is my only support except for one daughter. I just want to be free. That isn’t asking too too much, is it?

“mental illness” is culturally dictated to a large degree…

MPD/DID is doctor fostered if not created…. it is the result of modern American society’s need to pathologize the human mind…

the existence of many layers/spheres/levels or “sides”/facets to the single human body’s experience of its “soul”’s identity, does not make a person mentally unable to function in real-life…

healthy functional plurality is an experience that many people have had throughout the history of our species… people from all cultures, creeds, etc… it is not rare and it is not something to be “healed” of…

it is the realization that as a human we are a collective… we are connected within ourselves and also to the rest of our human family..

the “healing” of this, is the creation of a single person convinced that they are completely isolated, cut off from all others and utterly alone in this world.

sells lots of pills to make people feel that way… don’t you agree?

Being a survivor of childhood trauma and physical/sexual abuse, and living with DID, the frustration is tremendous when encountering Professionals, both in the Medical and Mental health fields that choose to believe one group of research and stats, over another group to base the foundation of disbelief in the diagnosis of DID.

There is a tremendous amount of research by reputable professional organizations, yet when encountering a healthcare professional I am most reluctant to even state my current condition due to the shame factor that is thrown back onto me due to the fact I revealed something that was asked for as part of an exam, and/or history. I should not have to be forced to feel ashamed of a diagnosis, and fear to seek treatment..does this not mimic some of the very issues which created the disorder..to suffer in silence..

Many kudos going to Mr. Walker for his courage and strengths…and SHAME back onto any professional that chooses to not give the patient the consideration, respect, and compassion any human being has a right to..emphasis on the word choice..we did not have a choice then, we should have one now…and that is the choice to heal without getting yanked onto the professional battleground of the diagnosis.

Of note I work in the Healthcare industry ..I won’t even comment on some of the snide remarks I hear from my colleagues and co-workers about this diagnosis. Articles such as this one, when properly researched and presented offer hope to people like me..who have to hide in the trenches due to the label and just bare the humilation in silence out of fear…

We are multiple, and like some of the other groups who have written here, we do not experience ‘lost time’, ‘blackouts’ or anything else. Our memory is generally consistent. We also co-operate with each other and do not ’struggle for dominance’. We are full people, each with our own motivations and desires, and we find the idea of integration abhorrent. We’re simply too separate for that, and we’re fine with that fact.

The idea that there must be exactly one conscious entity per body is more of a Western cultural trope than an immutable truth. Neuroscientists simply do not know that much about consciousness, and it is perfectly plausible for more than one consciousness to appear. To assume that it absolutely cannot happen, or that it is disordered if it does happen, is presumptuous.

This isn’t to say that disordered multiplicity doesn’t exist, but that it is not the only form of plurality extant.

I am 68 years of age. When my son died in 1994 my DID appeared and was devastating. I am still in counselling and find it very difficult to cope at times. I was on a cruise in Nov.2007, I was going to jump of the top deck. It was so difficult to get a hold of myself. I crawled to the door opening to safety and needless to say never went back up to the top deck again. When I returned home I was about one month dealing with the urges to jump into traffic and was going over and over as if it was happening again to jump of the deck. I have other urges to crash through windows and have the most difficulty looking in the mirror. I don’t recognize the person in the mirror. Many times I feel I am walking about a foot off the ground. I go to the casino and when I come out to get into the cab I feel like another person.
These are examples of my DID

For over ten years I lived with someone who is DID. He is multi-fractured and we gave up counting “alters” at 2000 in the year 2001. By then they were surfacing in clusters. I’ve been told the large numbers are indicative of the severity of abuse.

I was inspired by Andy. I was the one who opened Pandora’s box by questioning his diagnosis. The very struggle to just keep a roof over our heads moved us create the non-profit, SEASCAT, for Supportive Environment for Adult Survivors of Child Abuse and Trauma . When basic needs of food and shelter are lacking, you can’t begin to think about working through the difficulty of therapy.

The plan is to find a motel for residence, hire a therapist and link clients to other necessary services in the community. Residents will have a diagnosis of DID or PTSD from childhood and will be required to be actively working in therapy.

I’ve dealt with alters surfacing, almost daily at times. Some surface violently, some mute with fear, most very angry, and all very scared. More then once, I held a 30 year old man while the voice of a child tearfully begged Daddy not to do it anymore.

The need for such a program is not limited geographically. I expect to accept people with a diagnosis of DID from anywhere in the country, because I know how their options are limited. For this reason, dissociative disorders will also take priority when openings are available. The rest of the rooms will be given to local residents (NC) with the diagnosis of PTSD.

We have just incorporated in western NC and are currently seeking board members. Anyone interested in working with me is encouraged to write niemacniteowl@yahoo.com.

Sincerely,
Connie J. Conklin, MEd

Look, I know all people who have a diagnosis of DID are in extreme pain– please believe me, I’m not belittling you at all. But having been ‘diagnosed’ with this dissociative disorder and, having come to believe the things that sm, rs, and Julia S. have written (through extensive research on my own), I can’t be silent. I was just made aware of this story and the blog, and I am very alarmed. Please consider the facts that are out there regarding this ‘disorder.’ The CNN news report and Dr. G’s blog make it sound as if DID is an established scientific fact. However, if you look into the research done in this area you will find TONS of controversy and many disproving factors heavily suggesting that this is just a dissociative disorder gone awry by misleading and destructive therapy.

Suggested readings are Elizabeth Loftus “The Myth of Repressed Memory,” Richard Ofshe & Ethan Watters, “Making Monsters,” Joan Acocella, “Creating Hysteria: Women and Multiple Personality Disorder” and “Victims of Memory: Incest Allegations and Shattered Lives,” by Mark Pendergrast. You can also find many research papers written on the subject by notable psychiatrists and psychologists (online).

I understand that DID becomes a strongly held personal belief with a huge emotional investment. But think about it: should we imprison ourselves in therapy for over one quarter of our lives to deal with something that we may be creating ourselves? None of you can say I know nothing about this. I hear voices all right. I hear voices I never heard BEFORE I went into therapy. By refusing to accept this diagnosis and by not buying into the ‘multiple’ and ’survivor’ lifestyles, I believe my life was saved.

Bess

I have been on the road of healing (DID) for the last 14 yrs.
I have been greatly blessed with being a patient of DR Mungadze’s for almost all of that time..he wrote the forward in Mr Walkers book…
I am nearing the end of my journey and the difference in my life is amazing…..I am so proud of Mr Walker for speaking out and letting himself be vulnerable to the world..it takes great courage and selflessness to allow yourself to be scrutinized by the world. I stand up and cheer!!! I know that his book is going to be the beginning of change for all of us who deal with this dissorder and for those who suffer from any mental illness…the stigma will begin to change and I for one am very glad that Mr Walker has choosen to stand!!!

I am really glad, that there are more people out there that is living with DID. I am 25 years old; just recently diagnose with DID, therefore I was fortunate to locate this article, and comprehend I am not the only one out there living with DID.

Thank you
Sara

additional research and resources for inquiring minds, an fyi..the long list of references below are references from a Berkeley University article on the debate about memory, etc..etc…etc….

Although, I believe the debate will continue until a mind reading device which allows the clinician and/or researcher..”God love’em”…to co-habitat the biosuit with the patient is invented…..where is virtual reality technology when you need it…geeze..

http://www.isst-d.org/

http://www.sidran.org/

http://www.aaets.org/article30.htm

The Haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and the Treatment of Chronic Traumatization (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) (Hardcover)
by Onno van der Hart (Author), Ellert R. S. Nijenhuis (Author), Kathy Steele (Author)

Breuer, J., & S. Freud. (1893-1895). Studies in hysteria. In J. Strachey (Ed.), The standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 2.). London: Hogarth Press.
Christianson, S.-A. (Ed.). (1992). The handbook of emotion and memory: Research and theory . Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
Eich, J. E. (1987). Theoretical issues in state-dependent memory. In H.L. Roediger & F.I.M. Craik (Eds.), Varieties of memory and consciousness: Essays in honour of Endel Tulving (pp. 331-354). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
Eich, E. (1995). Searching for mood dependent memory. Psychological Science, 6, 67-75.
Freyd, J. (1996). Betrayal trauma: The logic of forgetting childhood abuse. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Goodman, G. S., Quas, J.A., Batterman-Faunce, J.M., Riddlesberger, M.M., & Kuhn, J. (1994). Predictors of accurate and inaccurate memories of traumatic events experienced in childhood. Consciousness and Cognition, 3, 269-294.
Grinker, R., & Spiegel, J. (1945). War neuroses. Philadelphia: Blakiston. Original work published 1945.
Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and recovery. New York: Basic Books.
Janet, P. (1889). L’Automatisme psychologique. Paris: Alcan.
Kihlstrom, J.F. (1996). The trauma-memory argument and recovered memory therapy. In K. Pezdek & W.P. Banks (Eds.), The recovered memory/false memory debate (pp. 297-311). San Diego, Ca.: Academic Press.
Kihlstrom, J. F., & Schacter, D. (1995). Functional disorders of autobiographical memory. In A. Baddeley, B.A. Wilson, & F. Watts (Eds.), Handbook of memory disorders (pp. 337-364). London: Wiley.
LeDoux, J. (1996). The emotional brain. New York: Simon & Schuster.
Lindsay, D. S., & Read, J.D. (1994). Psychotherapy and memories of childhood sexual abuse: A cognitive perspective. Applied Cognitive Psychology, 8, 281-338.
Loftus, E., Garry, M., & Feldman, J. (1994). Forgetting sexual trauma: What does it mean when 38% forget? Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 62, 1177-1181.
McGaugh, J. L. (1992). Affect, neuromodulatory systems, and memory storage. In S.-A. Christianson (Ed.), The handbook of emotion and memory: Research and theory (pp. 245-268). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
Schacter, D. L. (1987). Implicit memory: History and current status. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Learning, Memory, and Cognition, 13, 501-518.
Singer, J. L. (Ed.) (1990). Repression and dissociation. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Squire, L.R., Knowlton, B., & Musen, G. (1993). The structure and organization of memory. Annual Review of Psychology, 44, 453-495.
Terr, L. (1991). Childhood traumas: An outline and overview. American Journal of Psychiatry, 148, 10-20.
Terr, L. (1994). Unchained memories: True stories of traumatic memories, lost and found. New York: Basic Books.
van der Kolk, B. A. (1994). The body keeps the score: Memory and the evolving psychobiology of posttraumatic stress. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 1, 253-265.
van der Kolk, B. A., & Fisler, R. (1995). Dissociation and the fragmentary nature of traumatic memories: Overview and exploratory study. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 8, 505-525.
Whitfield, C. L. (1995). Memory and abuse: Remembering and healing the effects of trauma. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications.
Williams, L. (1994). Recall of childhood trauma: A prospective study of women’s memories of child sexual abuse. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 62, 1167-1176.

Is there a Christian support group for DID spouses out there? I am married to a first born, Type A, Choleric, DID lady.

I have DID and I am sooo tired of some so-called professionals talking as tho the disorder doesn’t exist. Many people believed the earth was flat also.
Yeah, my therapist talked me into feeling so much extreme pain and suffering….just for the fun of it. Of course. Get real!! Maybe it is just difficult for some professionals to believe human beings can inflict such trauma on another human being.
Also, I have known persons with DID denying what they experience and saying it was all a mistake. I get calls from them years later and they are in a crisis and don’t know what to do.
We would all like to deny it because it is just so extremely painful and we hate to think people (often our parents) could do such horrible things to us. If I was going to make up something DID wouln’t be it.

This is a wonderful thing to have done. We with DID are so often not diagnosed and when we are there is much confusion on the part of the therapists as to what to do. I have been in therapy for the past 20 plus years on and off and finally have found a good one. I have written on my website about some of my journey with DID. Go to duffyscloset.com/dancing voices1.htm… Thank you so much for sharing.
Marty Pinney

This page has been very inlightening. I have suspected for many years that my mother may have DID. As a child i could never geusse who I was gonna get. One minute,day, week or blessed month a careing mother. The next party mom leaving me anywhere with anyone or by myself. The next detached and very type A. There were even childlike personalities. While I thought theese were fun when I was young they became a problem as I got older and needed a loving stable adult presence.

I love my mother wish i could get help for her. I have my own problems to deal with tho ranging from PTSD,Anxiety, depresion and possibly some disasociation. I dont thind I have other personalities just a lack of one cohesive set personality. Thats different than DID isnt it. If anyone knows the best place for me to get help. Please email me cmorrow@yahoo.com

Greetings all. After watching Herschel Walker today on Rome is Burning and finally hearing his story, I identify very closely with this and know it to be real, personally.

I grew up in the midwest, in an abusive adoptive home having 8 kids total, me being the third oldest. In addition to beatings we were also not allowed to interact with society, with our only social contact limited only to the few hours of school during the day, throughout highschool. Some kids were heavily medicated with legal drugs and placed on punishment for 70% of their childhood. Others removed from extra curicular activites in which they excelled either to perform subservient duties or due to plain ole parental apathy. Yet, others not allowed to attend school at all. As expected, the majority of us have had what appears to most to be a difficult time coping true society.

In my case, there has always been a “way to act” outside of the closed door for almost as long as I remember. This then became a “way to act” at school, a “way to act” at church, etc…What I found myself doing was finding what I called a “way to act” dependnent on the situation. A new situation was always the most nerve racking, to the point where I have been, what feels like, unable to slow down my thoughts enough to vocalize, thus I sit there 95% of the time completely silent and nervous (physically shaking at times). This led to planning to avoid as much social contact as possible, e.g. – walking completely around a building to get to the other side just because a group of bystanders are in front of you (minding their own business. lol. ), as one of many ridiculous examples. The problem was, at times, very few times I would say 2/10 where I WAS actually able to do this with NO problem. This led to a constant struggle of trying to make that ratio 10/10.

After a recent tramatic experience, I got to the point that my mind felt like it was racing outta control. To the point where I began recording and keeping a diary of my various thoughts over the course of a year. I had thoughts ranging from extreme anger and despair to extreme happiness. After recording my mindstate during various times and playing them back later, I couldnt understand or remember WHY i was , for example, so angry at a certain thing which in reality was minor; and also so overjoyed at things which didnt make sense. The extreme thoughts of anger started me thinking about what I was really angry about, and it was about this point where I began confronting my many issues which, the best way i can describe it, seems like were blocked out. AllI can say is its amazing what your brain remembers when you really think back searching for answers.

The reason I decided to write this today is because Herschel Walkers story reminded me very much of my own. It is obvious that the host found the story unbelievable, but this is truly an example of why people in the public eye should speak out; for people like me who are having these same thoughts, it gives them hope and credence. I would be interested in knowing if there was a tramatic experience which predicated his extreme behavior.

I have been on two different sides of this so I want to say something about it.

One is that there was a time when it was fashionable to consider anyone experiencing certain things to have DID. Some psychology students decided to tell me I had it, when I was really experiencing something else. They encouraged me to see every nightmare spawned from abuse as a recovered memory and every shift in mood as a different person. The problem was it wasn’t real. I was only ever one person. I had childhood trauma, I had ordinary dissociation of the kind where nothing feels real, I had depression, and I had epilepsy, but I was not multiple.

Later in my life, though, I got to know people who really were multiple. They were genuine, nobody had forced them into believing they had it. Many of them had asked to be called different names since they were children. The interesting thing was that only some of them were formed as different people due to trauma. Some of them just happened to be that way to begin with. Therapists tried to make many of them uncover trauma that didn’t even exist, because if there were more than one of them then there had to be trauma. According to doctrine of the time and of now. Others of them did form the way they did due to trauma.

Their lives were not like the textbooks in more ways than even that. Many of them had total awareness, should they choose, of what was going on when the other ones were “fronting”. Others were less aware of each other, but used systems like post-it notes to keep track of what everyone was doing. Nearly all of them were functioning well in society through what they called operating systems. Many were upset that psychiatry was now considering them to not really be people, just pieces of people. They considered themselves well-rounded people with different tastes and personalities, and the capability of experiencing all emotions. Most considered the term ‘DID’ an insult to that experience. Only some wished to integrate. Others functioned just fine without it. Some had been made to try, only to find themselves just finding better ways of pretending to be singletons.

None of the people I know have made a penny of money off of having this experience.

Far from doing this to get attention, most of them are incredibly secretive. They know that people will judge them as so many things. Dangerous criminals lurking inside each other’s minds. People who only want attention. People who have been duped by therapists, even if they’ve never been to therapy. People who have become this way through trauma even if they were there prior to any trauma or never had any trauma. People who belong in therapy even if they don’t want to.

They are selective about who they tell.

They have ways of pretending they are one person. Some of them torturous to them, but better than being found out as many.

Their stories won’t make the news because they’d never come out of the closet.

Their stories won’t be written about by therapists because most of them would never allow themselves to be put in therapy.

They understand that what happens to me happened to a lot of people, that so many single people are convinced to act multiple by well-meaning therapists.

And I understand that what happens to them happens to a lot of people. Probably a large portion of the population. Possibly through something in their innate neurological or cognitive structures at least as often as through abuse. But as children who are multiple grow too old to be dismissed as having overactive imaginations, old enough to be called crazy or fraudulent for having this experience, they learn to hide it. As other children are socialized in their own ways, these children learn to develop a single voice and a consistent set of mannerisms and language use, to call themselves all by the same name. Or they learn to cover for everyone else. Some create an entire persona that everyone’s words and deeds are filtered through. Some become actors and hide their differences among roles on stage. I’ve never met any who didn’t have to hide though.

Their experiences and my experiences are as much part of the world of multiplicity as the official criteria are. Please don’t forget the messy realities outside of the psychiatry textbooks.

i was diagnosed with did many years ago. it helped me to understand the reason for the loss of short term and long term memory. i have very little memory of my life as a child; i understood the reason for the extreme internal pain, the reason people feel im lying about everything. my children ask if i remember such and such and i say i do since i don’t want to hurt them. i have very liittle memory of their childhood. relationships are out of the question since i change from day to day or more often than that; sometimes two or three times a day.

there are times when the child in me comes out and i speak as a child and feel lost and scared. there is a very aggresive alter and this one comes out with my sister or i will make some very nasty remark about someone; usually something so cruel. then there is the sweet , religious alter. there is an alter who is intelligent, well-spoken, is able to socialize. then there is the one who can hardly put a sentence together. stutters, stammers, shy, cant think straight.

i am also bipolar, mixed so this combination is hell to live with. therapy, psychiatrists, hospitals have been a way of life for me.
my therapist is a wonderful woman who has been working with me for 20 yrs. the psychiatrists prescribes meds needed for the mood swings associated with the bipolar illness.

my life is crazy, i live alone and it seems i always will since i am 56 yrs old and have such a long way to go. there are times i have wanted to committ suicide due to both the did and the bipolar illness. my life is just a jumble of thoughts and feelings running around inside my head.

my heart goes out to all people suffering, and i do mean suffering with this did diagnosis. it goes out also to family and friends and oh my, how difficult their lives are too.

therapy is a lifesaver for me and i am grateful for being able to have this therapy all these yrs. (good insurance)

it is so troubling that many people in the mental health field do not accept the did diagnosis. it is hard at times to believe u have it and therefore harder to treat. when u hear someone in the field say its not a real disorder you really start questioning yourself more.

thanks to Herschel Walker for having the courage to come out.

I love my wife of three years and of six years together. For the past five years she has demonstrated mental illness and substance abuse. Many doctors have all incorrectly diagnosed her, until I sought the help of a PHD who specialized in DID. Approximately a year and six months ago, my beautiful wife trusted me enough to share more of herself with me. My wife is 36 years old and her name is D. A year and six month ago we visited her parents for the first time. The visit was enlightening to me. After the visit when we returned home, I asked my wife if she had been abused as a child. She cried profusely and declared somebody finally knows the truth. Then, while sitting in her chair, she leaned forward and put her head between her legs for a moment. She then raised her head and spoke to me in a childish voice. Her face looked changed. The truth was finally clear to me. I asked her her name. She replied “S”. I asked how old she was. She replied “12″. I asked how long she had been 12. She replied “I have always been 12″. Since that time I have met many others. Shortly after our visit to her parents, she began treatment with a loving and caring PHD and began to heal. Tragicly, six months ago, my lovely wife was arrested for a mishap of her past, and was accused of attempting to obtain prescription drugs by fraud. She has been in jail for the past six months, and none of the several lawyers I have hired have been successful in convincing the jugde or the prosecutor of the existance of her illness or the horrific and vile nature of it’s cause. I found this website because I was trying to find Hercshel Walker in order to illicit his help or influence with my wife’s current situation, an unfair and cruel confinement that forces the continuation of her abusive existance. We live in the panhandle of Florida, and Hercshel is a hero in these parts. My wife needs to be in the care of a PHD, not in jail. Whatever wrongs my wife may have committed in her life can not be attributed to any fault of hers. She is stronger than any person I have ever met because she has indured the most cruel treatment from the ones who were supposed to love her the most. My wife continues to survive today, inspite of those who cheated her life from her, a true testiment of her character. Mere survival has been the goal of her entire life, but today she wants more from her life. She deserves it, but she will not get the chance as long as she is confined to jail. My email is weisenseemail@aol.com. I feel for anyone who suffers from DID or anyone who loves a DID victim. I hope and pray for the freedom and happiness you all deserve. The mere fact you survived in my eyes is a demonstration of courage and perserverence, and a personnal human victory greater than any I could ever imagine. Thank you.

Paul and others – there is a great group on yahoo for the significant others of multiples. It is called SO Support and is a place to get help, support and share experiences in an attempt to help each other deal with day to day realities of living with a multiple. It helps to read about others and the ways they find for coping.

I am DID having been diagnosed 11 years ago but am highly functional and learning to accept my disability with as much grace as possible. Many of us live full active lives without anyone being aware that we are multiple but it is not always easy.

Karle

herschel walker you is so famous to everybody in the world an i thank you for that.